“Now that
she had nothing to lose, she was free.” Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho
For all the
highs, I had some lows last year, points where I wasn’t sure if there was a
light at the end of the tunnel, I couldn’t see a clear way out of the black
hole I was free falling through. In many ways, last year was an extension of
the last few years. I felt like I was in limbo with a sense of uncertainty
about absolutely every aspect of my life. Knowing you’re a shell of the person
you were and trying to find your way back is beyond frustrating and it makes
trying to figure out the labyrinth of life difficult. The process has been
draining and unnerving. For someone whose emotions stay fairly in check, the
onslaught of emotional energy was more than a little overwhelming.
As I leave
2015 behind, much of the baggage I’ve collected has been discarded. I feel
alive. I can breathe. I’m starting to feel like me again and I’ve missed me
dearly. I’m ready to tackle whatever comes my way with a renewed sense of self.
There’s nothing like feeling you’re whole.
Last year, I
wanted to travel more and I set out to do just that. I want that trend to
continue. The goal this year is to live more freely. As a result of things that
have happened in the past, my guard is up full force. I’m not skeptical, per
say, but I’m definitely not open to allowing people into my world. I need to
let go and have more fun. I’ve had so many valuable experiences just in the
last few weeks by just living in the moment, letting go, and having fun with
life. I can only hope that things keep progressing in this direction because I
like my world view from this vantage point.