By three methods we
may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation,
which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. – Confucius
2013
The fall started back in 2011. It was like flying
and then having your wings clipped. A sudden drop that ends with a crash. The
year started out great and then it all spiraled down and ended in flames. 2012
was a period of rebuilding. It was difficult, hopeful and heart breaking,
promising and disappointing. I spent a lot of time feeling lost and unsure. Job
hunting was brutal. There’s always someone wanting to tell you who you are and
what you stand for, what you should be doing and where you’re heading. The only
sure thing about me is that I went to law school because I want to be a judge
and I was nothing but ambitious with my sight set on being an appellate judge
some day. The only thing that stood in my way was being a lawyer. I did that.
My area of choice was, is, and will probably
continue to be criminal law. I haven’t swayed. I’ve been an ADA and a defense
attorney. I’ve been told I’m defense minded and then I was told I’m pro State.
Well, guess what? I’m neither. I’m for justice. I want Prosecutors to do their
job and that isn’t solely to send people to jail. Make the punishment fit the
crime. As a defense attorney, my job is to hold prosecutors to that and make
sure they don’t abuse the discretion that they have. It’s that simple and no
matter what side I’m on, I will do my job to the best of my abilities.
I’m not perfect and I’m not beyond making
mistakes, but I will never again let someone define me. I won’t allow someone
to break me down again, making me forget that I’m capable. I paid my dues
to get my JD. I clerked for judges and practiced my last year with a 3rd
year bar card. I passed the bar and got my license. I define myself and how
people perceive that is just something I’m going to have to learn to deal with.
Jesus take the wheel.
He guides me. I just need to follow no matter what
roadblocks appear along the way. Life is ups and downs, lows and highs. It’s
always been that way and it will always be that way. Life is different only in
how we individually deal with the things that happen.
2014
I hit a milestone this year. Thanks to Jay-Z, 30’s
the new 20. I hear the 30’s are some of the best years of your life. I intend
on making the best of it. I want to live fully. I’m going in like Nike. Just do
it. No more making excuses for why this can’t happen or why this hasn’t
happened. I’m just going to live and do it. I want to look back and say I did
things I wanted to do when I had the chance. I traveled when I could. I took
chances when I was scared. I loved even when it wasn’t returned. I was happy
and I loved myself.
What’s a life if you’re not living it? Here’s to
2014 and living.