Perspective

There is no footprint too small to leave an imprint on this world. – Unknown

 I have nothing to say, so I wrote it all down.

 When you hold a child, they capture a part of you. They can pull out all the joy and happiness you could ever want with their pure innocence. When they put their tiny hands in yours, hearts swell and soar with love. That’s what the blind love of a child can do to you. Their eyes grow large with wonder at everything in the world. Everything is amazing, everything is wonderful, everything is “cool”, everything is beautiful. The simplest things are the biggest most exciting things in their minds. Fireworks, an animal, the ocean. Everything is magical to these tiny beings and you get swept up into their amazement. You remember how wonderful life can be and how the world is filled with amazing wonders. Children remind you how precious it all is. And when the unfathomable happens and their life is lost, our hearts splinter with the loss of such a precious gift.

 Makai was just a baby, his hair not yet cut with cute little afro puffs, big twinkling eyes, round apple cheeks, the most beautiful child that could ever be created by two people. I looked into Makai’s big, beautiful eyes and I was in love. So much so that I took him and held him into the night, until he fell asleep in my arms, his long, beautiful lashes closed over his eyes. I never wanted to let him go and any time I was home, I took him in my arms. He was my baby, as I often jokingly told his mom. He is loved by many, even in death. My grief has not swallowed me yet and is eclipsed by the gaping hole left in the two people that created his little life. As I wait for the pain and grief to wash over me, we’ll be there for them as best we can. They had a lifetime of milestones snatched away in a matter of minutes. The days will turn into weeks, weeks will turn into months, months into years, but his life will be remembered until our days end.

Nothing seems to have much important when you lose a person and it's seems to be an even deeper loss when it's a child because they barely had a chance to truly live. Instantly, the frustration, anger, and stress of anything going on aren’t significant in comparison. That nagging bill collector that won’t stop calling your phone, the stupid media and their headlines, the endless fight over skin color, that guy you wish would want you too, the co-worker that’s a jerk and lies on you, your significant other not doing what you want, that asshole that cut you off this morning on the highway, those marital woes, that guy or girl that is stringing you along, the wall of debt you have, that trip you wanted to take, that vacation you thought you needed to get away from it all, none of it matters anymore. You’re trapped in this horrific moment of loss. It all seems so minuscule and ridiculous because all that resonates is that a precious ray of light has been snuffed out and it’s not coming back.

Sweet, sweet baby boy. I love you Makai. You will always live in our hearts and minds.