Pact of Souls

At the beginning of time, two souls were created among all other souls, destined to one day collide.

The souls were reborn throughout the ages, passing each other over time.

Until by spiritual design, the souls crashed into each other while on two different paths. A force with strength of the universe pulling them nearer.

Through the rigors of time and space, the souls danced until their hearts were twined. But outside influences tangled with their senses, pulling them apart. And so, in the secret shadows of the night, a pact the souls did make.

We’ll meet again when the time is right. When the stars align just as they appear this night.

Remember me now.

Remember me always.

Remember the pact of souls.

And as the lone spec of moisture from one soul’s eye stained the floor, 

the souls were ripped apart.

But not before the universe procured a pact of souls, etched upon their eternal hearts. Whispering among the breeze in the trees to remind them as the years grew longer.

We’ll live among the other souls, enduring through time and space until the moment our hearts intertwine upon the stars’ alignment.

Remember me now.

Remember me always.

Remember the pact of souls.

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I Got Lost Somewhere

Everyone feels like family and I am back in the city that I love. - Chris Noth

And before I knew it, a whole year and a half had gone by before I realized I hadn't written anything. The truth is I forgot about my little humble blog as other things in my life started taking over in my life. I have a website for my law office and I started a travel blog. While both of those things were on my list of objectives I wanted to check off, writing for the law website and travel blog became all consuming. Especially because I put pressure on myself to have perfect sites. But as we all know, we will never be perfect. 

It's a shame I fell off here. It happens often, I know. I always find my way back though. But a lot happened last year and when writing is therapeutic like it is for me, you wish you'd have put pen to paper to work through all that stuff you were going through. Especially the lather part of the year when I was in the hospital with a saddle pulmonary embolism. Say that 10 times fast. I was in a low place and I wrote about it once on travel for stamps, but it was months of needing to work through everything I was going through. I needed to come back to my love of writing. It centers and grounds me. My thoughts are seriously all over the place more than half the time and I can channel all that when I have a pen in my hand and some paper to jot down whatever comes out. 

Well hey there, 2018. I know we've already gotten through half the year, but hey, it's never to late to start again, amiright?! And Iook at me, I'm going to have two entries today! That's one way to get back into the swing of things. 

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Bucking the Trend

Watch carefully the magic that occurs when you give a person just enough comfort to be themselves.  
– Atticus

It’s a new year, it’s a new day, it’s a new dawn…ha, I like that song. However, it is a new year and I’m the same me, but with some added new things. Everyone’s out making their resolutions and goals list for the new year and I’m just over here like, I’m just going to live life and see what happens. Sure, I have things I’d like to do and things I’d like to accomplish, but I don’t want to confine myself to a list of bullet points. I just want to live out loud and let life unfold. I want to do dope ish with dope people. If I can be a better version of me by year end, 2017 will be a win.

People are constantly putting pressure on themselves: lose 50 pounds and look like a supermodel; get promoted in 90 days; ask out the hot chick that lives on the 5^th floor; make him fall in love with me and meet the parents. And so on and so forth. When those things don’t turn out the way they want, cue the violins and cellos with the woe is me notes. Now, they’re feeling blue, down in the dumps and cursing the whole year, declaring, “I can’t wait until this crappy year is over. Next year will be my best year!” Yeah, I’m good on all that. I’m going to focus on shedding negativity and planting seeds of positivity and prosperity into my life. The rest will follow. Love is going to be a thing too, starting with myself.

Love yourselves, unconditionally. You are your biggest critic and naysayer. You can’t give out vibes of love if you don’t even love yourself, flaws and all. You’re going to screw up sometimes. You’re going to make mistakes. You might even inadvertently hurt someone. Encourage yourself to learn from all that you experience and then move on from the negative energy, turn it into something positive. Don’t allow people who aren’t for you to have a seat in your life. Negativity leaves a blemish that can fester into a black hole of despair and emptiness. You don’t need that. Let those toxic things and people go. I want to live by the edicts of love in 2017 and beyond. When it’s time to close the chapter in the book of my life entitled “2017,” I want to be full of positive energy, positive feelings, and positive people.

Cheers to the new year! Who knows what adventures await? I’m ready. Come along for the ride. 

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What Happened to All Her Words?

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” 

– Rudyard Kipling

I’ve been struck by the longest streak of writer’s block and I’ve been suspended in a perpetual state of limbo ever since the block gripped me. I’m floating, watching everyone shine and sparkle from the shadows. Meanwhile, my penmanship remains dusty and littered with cobwebs. Sometimes, it feels like being on an isolated island with an unobstructed view of the world, observing everything from outside, window shopping, at a standstill while time passes you by. But time waits for no one.

And so, here I sit, at a table at a café trying to get my grove back like Stella. Writing came easy to me and even when it didn’t, I could churn out a poem with ease. I want that back. I’m not exactly sure what happened or where my mojo jet set off to, but it needs to come back. Writing is a release of frustrations and stress. It grounds me. It’s my center, but 2016 had other plans and I found myself feeling like I was repeatedly hitting a brick wall. I was a hamster in a wheel, turning circles and never quite ending up where I wanted to be, and I sank through quicksand of disappointment.

I’ve never been one to toot my own horn. I always feel weird, like a clown dressed in the royal clothes, but out of place. I’m a really good supporter and a hell of a hype man and an excellent cheerleader for others. Need to develop an idea? I got you. Need some encouragement? I have words on deck. Need someone to hold you accountable? I’m your girl. For some reason, I struggle to play those roles for myself and others are even further from being those things for me. I like to help others succeed and I enjoy being an encouraging force. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been drowned out in the process. Maybe everyone else thinks I have it all figured out, but I don’t.

All my thoughts and ideas seemed like a pile of steaming trash. The well of my creativity dried up and my drive crashed. Suddenly, there was nothing for months. I made a promise to myself to write at least once a month and I didn’t keep up my end of the deal. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I have drafts upon drafts of writings that never made it to the light of day. But I’m here and I’m writing and this is good for my soul. Because as I try to navigate through life and maneuver through relationships and countless encounters with other humans, writing provides a sense of awareness and I feel like that’s what I’ve been missing the most. Clarity.

Life has a way of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once. – Paulo Coelho

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It Only Happened Once

I had a bad dream…and then I forgot about it.

I’m a lawyer and a Gemini. I rationalize everything. I visualize scenarios and play out conversations in my mind. Rational analysis is key. The wheels never stop turning. My mind never shuts down. I’m a lawyer and have practiced criminal law for the better part of my legal career. I have represented a myriad of people. I’ve been a bondsman. I’ve clerked for judges. Nothing surprises me or even gets under my skin like it really should. So, why on Earth did I have a dream about being pulled over by a cop on a dark road with creepy white fog?

It was a scene out of any legit scary movie. It could have been a scene out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre when he was chasing the girl through the forest at night. The absurdity of that should be unsettling. And it was. The terror that griped me in my sleep, in the cloak of darkness was enough to wake me up in a cold sweat, heart ready to leap from my chest, bewildered by what I’d just felt. Me. Attorney. Criminal attorney. I never in a million lifetimes thought I would ever feel terror upon encountering a cop. But I did and I feel so many emotions. Shame. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. I interact with police of a daily basis and I never thought that I, with my gold bar card that lets the masses know I’m a lawyer, would ever feel terror and paralyzing fear from being pulled over by a cop.

My dream manifested itself into the world of the living. I’m almost embarrassed to share this because it was just a dream, and then a couple weeks ago, I was driving down the street and I saw a police car at a restaurant waiting to come onto the street. I remember thinking to myself, I hope they don’t pull out behind me. But they did and I tensed up. I gripped the steering wheel so tight, I felt a cramp in my hand. Once I passed the bar exam, I never worried about getting pulled over or approached by police for any reason. I was totally unbothered. But a police car pulled behind me while I was driving and I tensed up…a light coat of sweat developed. I was scared and it was one of the worst feelings and I’m appalled at myself. I wasn’t scared because I thought I was going to get a ticket, I was scared because I didn’t know how an encounter would end or if something might go terribly wrong. I don’t want to be a hashtag that people argue over or make political stands over. The embarrassment I felt from being scared infuriates me and I’m almost disgusted, constantly looking at my speedometer to make sure I wasn’t doing anything that could remotely get me pulled over. I didn’t release the steering wheel from my death grip until they turned down a different street.

I sat up a little taller, I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding, I rolled my neck a couple times, and it was at that moment I realized I had been scared. They probably weren’t even paying any attention to me, but all my attention was on them.

Ever felt that way? Ever tensed up when a police car got behind your car for more than a couple minutes going down the road? Ever been afraid of being pulled over by a cop not because you thought you were doing anything wrong or would get a ticket, but because something a little more sinister might happen? Yeah…me neither. Until I did.   

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Perspective

There is no footprint too small to leave an imprint on this world. – Unknown

 I have nothing to say, so I wrote it all down.

 When you hold a child, they capture a part of you. They can pull out all the joy and happiness you could ever want with their pure innocence. When they put their tiny hands in yours, hearts swell and soar with love. That’s what the blind love of a child can do to you. Their eyes grow large with wonder at everything in the world. Everything is amazing, everything is wonderful, everything is “cool”, everything is beautiful. The simplest things are the biggest most exciting things in their minds. Fireworks, an animal, the ocean. Everything is magical to these tiny beings and you get swept up into their amazement. You remember how wonderful life can be and how the world is filled with amazing wonders. Children remind you how precious it all is. And when the unfathomable happens and their life is lost, our hearts splinter with the loss of such a precious gift.

 Makai was just a baby, his hair not yet cut with cute little afro puffs, big twinkling eyes, round apple cheeks, the most beautiful child that could ever be created by two people. I looked into Makai’s big, beautiful eyes and I was in love. So much so that I took him and held him into the night, until he fell asleep in my arms, his long, beautiful lashes closed over his eyes. I never wanted to let him go and any time I was home, I took him in my arms. He was my baby, as I often jokingly told his mom. He is loved by many, even in death. My grief has not swallowed me yet and is eclipsed by the gaping hole left in the two people that created his little life. As I wait for the pain and grief to wash over me, we’ll be there for them as best we can. They had a lifetime of milestones snatched away in a matter of minutes. The days will turn into weeks, weeks will turn into months, months into years, but his life will be remembered until our days end.

Nothing seems to have much important when you lose a person and it's seems to be an even deeper loss when it's a child because they barely had a chance to truly live. Instantly, the frustration, anger, and stress of anything going on aren’t significant in comparison. That nagging bill collector that won’t stop calling your phone, the stupid media and their headlines, the endless fight over skin color, that guy you wish would want you too, the co-worker that’s a jerk and lies on you, your significant other not doing what you want, that asshole that cut you off this morning on the highway, those marital woes, that guy or girl that is stringing you along, the wall of debt you have, that trip you wanted to take, that vacation you thought you needed to get away from it all, none of it matters anymore. You’re trapped in this horrific moment of loss. It all seems so minuscule and ridiculous because all that resonates is that a precious ray of light has been snuffed out and it’s not coming back.

Sweet, sweet baby boy. I love you Makai. You will always live in our hearts and minds.

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New Month, Who This?

Why does this keep happening?! Lol I have no idea, but it's been months! Why can't I be consistent with this whole writing thing? This is what happens when you neglect your blog. I come back to see the template I was using has vanished! I've spent the better part of last night trying to tweak the look of the blog. It's still a work in progress...but I digress. 

I've been living, y'all. Changed my views on London, fell in love with Paris, had a couple dates and what not, had a couple setbacks, bounced back, got a year older, and planned a couple more trips. And here I am months upon months later without a written word. In other words, life has been happening. 

But I'm here with pen and paper, transcribing everything onto a computer screen when I'm done. There's just something about writing on pieces of paper, ink bleeding across the lines of the pages. Words seem to flow easier. 

Often I find myself here when I'm yearning for the universe to align itself with the desires of my heart. It's an infinite mystery, not ever having what you secretly desire the most. I want this, but I really, really want that too. You get one, but not the other. Why? What cosmic order has decided that it's not to be? *shrugs* 

I always get reflective. Normally receding into the background, out of sight, out of mind to reflect in solitude and reassess situations. I just go into myself and fall off for a minute. However, I'm back and I'm better, as Bryson Tiller would croon. 

In other news, I've unearthed another snippet I wrote some time many moons ago. I'll probably post that over the weekend. If it doesn't happen though, don't hold it against me.

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From Across the Room

He walked through the door, her eyes found him. Knots tightened in her stomach. 

Butterflies waltzed here and there.

She had waited all night to see him.

Flushed skin, sweaty palms, but she never left her spot. 

Rooted in place, no moves made.

She had waited all night to see him.

Eyes locked. A heart skipped a beat. Smiles of recognition. 

He's headed in her direction.

She had waited all night to see him.

Engulfed in his arms, her eyes closed tightly. Hands slid around him, holding firmly. She could smell his cologne. 

She had waited all night to see him.

A jolt of reality. His arms are gone, the warmth fading. 

He's moved on in the crowd. 

She had waited all night to see him.

A dimly lit room, but still her eyes could find him. 

He's working the room. His smile is dazzling. He's charming. 

She had waited all night to see him.

She watched intently. She wondered if only she said something witty, would he still be beside her. Coulda, shoulda, wouldas dancing through her mind. 

She had waited all night to see him.

Unnoticed now. Maybe unwanted. He's forgotten her and her smile as the night drummed on. But she had waited all night to see him, rooted in the same spot from across the room.

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The Year in Review

“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.” Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho

2015 is most definitely in the rearview mirror now and what a year it was. My social life exploded in the last few weeks leading to the end of 2015 and has continued to be a flurry of activity into 2016. I’ve been meaning to post this blog for weeks, but I’ve literally become the social butterfly my zodiac sign is known for. I could not have predicted the tide of events that transpired up to this very moment in time. I feel like I ended the year on a high and I surfed the high tide into 2016. I’m starting to feel a sense of clarity and things are beginning to somewhat click.

For all the highs, I had some lows last year, points where I wasn’t sure if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I couldn’t see a clear way out of the black hole I was free falling through. In many ways, last year was an extension of the last few years. I felt like I was in limbo with a sense of uncertainty about absolutely every aspect of my life. Knowing you’re a shell of the person you were and trying to find your way back is beyond frustrating and it makes trying to figure out the labyrinth of life difficult. The process has been draining and unnerving. For someone whose emotions stay fairly in check, the onslaught of emotional energy was more than a little overwhelming.

As I leave 2015 behind, much of the baggage I’ve collected has been discarded. I feel alive. I can breathe. I’m starting to feel like me again and I’ve missed me dearly. I’m ready to tackle whatever comes my way with a renewed sense of self. There’s nothing like feeling you’re whole.

Last year, I wanted to travel more and I set out to do just that. I want that trend to continue. The goal this year is to live more freely. As a result of things that have happened in the past, my guard is up full force. I’m not skeptical, per say, but I’m definitely not open to allowing people into my world. I need to let go and have more fun. I’ve had so many valuable experiences just in the last few weeks by just living in the moment, letting go, and having fun with life. I can only hope that things keep progressing in this direction because I like my world view from this vantage point.   

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I was Chosen. I was Wanted. I was Cherished.

“She wasn't tracking down her father to learn more about him. She was tracking him down to learn more about herself.” 
― Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle

I’ve known I was adopted since I was 5. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I felt special because I was picked out of all the children that my parents could have taken home with them. It was me they fell in love with. My parents are truly the best, not because they gave me life, but because they chose to raise me through a life time knowing they hadn’t created me. And for me, that’s the ultimate showcase of love. I am eternally blessed because of them.

As I sit here in the early hours after Christmas Day, I’m once again brought back to the topic of finding out information about my biological family. I’ve never been too bothered about finding anything out. I’ve been down this road twice before and never really pursued it further than getting forms to fill out that would start the post adoption services process. But, after a discussion in a group I’m a part of where the topic was unsuspectingly dating someone, like a cousin, that you don’t know you’re related to, it dawned on me that I could unknowingly find myself in that situation.

Who am I? Where do I come from? What is my heritage? Every so often, something happens that triggers me wanting to get the ball rolling on this whole biological family search. Yesterday it was a group discussion. A few years ago, a guy I was seeing asked me what I was mixed with to which I bestowed upon him a look of bewilderment.

My dad gave me the name of the adoption agency they used. Post adoption services seem so daunting to me and they really shouldn’t be and the fees seem like a deterrence, especially for those who may not have the funds to pay for it all. It seems like it could be a lengthy, time intensive process.  At the very least you should be given the documents with the biological parents information. I’ll be honest, the fee schedule has been a large part of why I’ve stalled out on this. When I first looked into post adoption services back towards the end of my undergraduate study, I wasn’t in a position to pay multiple fees associated with obtaining information. So, my urge to know fizzled and then it fizzled again 4 years later, and now here I am again. Seems like I never follow through. In Texas, you’re required to have at least one hour of counseling too. I can see why counseling would be required and encouraged, but what if you literally just want to know health information with no intention of reconnecting with your biological family? Knowing whether or not the possibility of developing diabetes or high blood pressure or cancer is running through your veins is important.

Trying to process the idea of obtaining information, receiving correspondence from biological family members or meeting them is overwhelming. Hell, maybe I do need to talk to a counselor first. I love my parents and I don’t have any issues of abandonment, resentment, or any other negative feeling one might associate with being told about being adopted. I’ve had a great life with a mom and dad who love me. I didn’t want for anything and still don’t. If I need it, they will figure out a way to make it happen. They are the best parents a girl could have.

I don’t need the counselor to help me through anything I might feel about being adopted, I need the counselor to help me process what I’m about to do. Part of me feels like I’m opening Pandora’s box. I actually refer to my biological mother as the egg donor. Obviously, I’m grateful, but questions I haven’t had before may start to surface. Like, why? And I’ve never really cared to know the answer to that question or wanted to know. 

I like to think that I wouldn’t be overly emotional about all this, but now, I’m not so sure. I almost feel like I might be an emotional wreck because I’m confronting something I haven’t really ever thought about and that makes me feel extremely on edge. Like, what does it mean that I might have other siblings? And do I want to integrate them into my life? Do they want to integrate me? Would they be upset? But, don’t I have a right to know what my heritage is? What are my roots?

I may fizzle out, yet again. 

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When You Wish Upon A Star

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” – The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

I used to read voraciously. A book was a gourmet meal. Back in middle school, I lived in the school library. I was the accelerated reader queen. I escaped to a world of orphaned children turned investigators, wizards and warlocks, escaped slaves, talking animals, knights and princesses. I soaked up words from the very fibers of a page like my life depended on it. I’m not sure when that all changed, but law school definitely made me never want to read anything but a trashy magazine with clipped horoscopes. That's definitely not the level of reading I groomed myself on. In many ways, I miss my younger self. She was so hungry to learn and know as much as she could about all sorts of things. She watched the History and Discovery channel like a hawk, from Jesus to the uncovering of ancient Egyptian history. I miss my nerdy self. It’s almost like something happens when you become an adult and a light dims, waiting until something sparks the flames again.

“Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives.”

The Alchemist was the first book on the book club’s list to read. I’ve never heard of this book until now. And since the universe conspired to bring me to it, I will keep it with me, turning back to it probably countless times so I don’t forget its many nuggets of wisdom as told through the story of Santiago. There was a word on every page. When I get a hard copy of the book, highlighting will do no good because the entire book will be highlighted from beginning to end on almost every page.

“Everything is written in the Soul of the World, and there it will stay forever.”

The wisdom is vast, but simple. Isn’t that the way wisdom works, though? The most profound concepts tend to be the simplest. Follow your dreams. Listen to your heart, for it knows your deepest desires. Don’t let fear keep you from following your dreams. Love will not hinder you from seeking your dreams….All simple, yet profound concepts. Adults make things so complicated. Why do we do that? I’m certainly guilty. Live in the now, but remember the lessons you learned along the way.

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

And so, I’ve found myself in a rut. At a crossroad of sorts, but I always feel like I’m periodically at a crossroad in life, unclear of which way to go. The Alchemist talks of omens, reading and following them. I feel as if I passed one too many omens along the way and just didn’t realize what was staring me right in the face. I suppose it’s never too late to right the ship, but the problem is always knowing whether you’re steering in the right direction or if you’re only poking more holes into an already sinking ship. Is the uncertainty and the worrying about making the right decision actually fear in disguise?

“You will never be able to escape your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say.”

Dreams and wishes, wants and desires. I followed Santiago, envisioning myself. The question was one of staying with the status quo or taking a leap of faith and finding your treasure. If nothing else, I feel like I had an eccentric otherworldly experience while reading. The limitless feeling of possibility that grips you and fills your spirit quenches your soul and awakens in you a desire to do things you put off because the world says you can’t do it or have it all. Let the universe inspire you and follow where it leads you. The value in the reward is the richness of the journey along the way.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

Maktub.   

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They’re Calling Me to Come Back...

I had someone tell me I fell off, ooh I needed that. And they wanna see me pick back up, well where’d I leave it at. – “Headlines” // Drake

 Tell me I don’t know myself lol I knoooow. It’s August and A LOT has transpired since March. I meant to write months ago. Life happened. I’m currently sitting in my office contemplating what life is with my two law partners just a few strides away. There’s nothing on my walls yet. I need an interior decorator. But I digress…new law firm! We’re taking off into the sunset. The ride is just getting started. I’m a ball of nervous energy, but God. And so I’m just going to ride this out.

The girls/birthday trip was in South Beach this year. Clearly we didn’t think that through as it was Memorial Day Weekend. There were so many people and so much ratchetness. Men, why would you follow 3 girls for over 3 blocks who aren’t acknowledging you at all? This happened…a few times. I was over it. We did find a great spot to eat on Lincoln Ave called 920 Grill. It was so good and the staff was awesome and so nice. Definitely eat there if you ever find yourself wandering around Lincoln Ave in Miami.

My birthday came and went. I miss the wholeness of being 30 #firstworldproblems Birthdays are like high school reunions. They’re celebrated every 5 to 10 years. My birthday will be special again when I turn 35. Until then, cheers to being blessed to see another year.

At the beginning of the year, I said I wanted to travel more and blog more and all that jazz. I’ve planned so many trips and I have to temper myself to not get too crazy with it. In the meantime, New York and Palm Springs are on Deck. Memphis, ATL, London, and Paris will soon follow.

It’s been an eventful 5 months, what with moving, starting a law office, planning and taking trips, meeting new friends. Life is zipping on by.  

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Life: The force from which we ebb & flow

 “I’m going on an adventure” – Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

On the last episode of the Days of Tifanee’s Life, we learned that I’m planning to take on the task of a travel blog.  I’m extremely excited about the concept. I’ve finally nailed down a name after agonizing over it for a week, but I’m pleased. I’ve already gotten my first draft of the first post. Now it’s just the other things that need to be dealt with, getting a domain, the design, etc. It’s all slowly coming together. It may be about a month or two, because I’m in the middle of apartment hunting/moving. I hate moving, but I hate my rent more, so, I’m moving, hopefully for the last time for more than a few years. Then, hopefully my travel adventures will start coming to life on virtual paper.

I'm bubbling with anticipation with another venture that is taking shape as I speak. There will be some sort of announcement in the coming months once everything becomes concrete. But I’m literally oozing with jubilation for where my career seems to be heading. Big things to come, I hope.

In the meantime…look at me updating! It didn’t take me months. Ha! I’m giving myself a pat on the back for that. Some semblance of consistency is the key here. Baby steps and I’m killing it with the progress thus far. Hashtag, feeling myself. #poseforthecamera

This path I’m on holds a lot of promise and hopefully a lot of success. Until next time…

Live like it’ll all be over tomorrow. 

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The Strange Case of Two Blogs and an Active Mind

“In the days before automobiles, people in horse-drawn wagons used to sleep if they were tired. They didn't worry about getting lost, because the horse knew the way home. Your heart knows the way to your gifts. You can trust it to take you to them.” 
― Barbara Sher, What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything?: A Revolutionary Programme For Doing Everything That You Love

Sometimes I wish I had a ying to my yang to contain the racing of my mind. When you have a mind that never rests and never ending thoughts that never cease, you’re bound to catch one of those elusive ideas and make it tangible and real, not just a figment of imagination. Sometimes I want to kick this lawyer thing, sell all my belongs and be a world citizen, coming and going from all the places that appear on bucket lists. A girl can dream.

While having a conversation with a colleague last week, I expressed a feeling of restlessness that was incessantly nagging on me, creeping into my subconscious mind, camping out in the corner, whispering for me to do things.

Start this…establish that…model here…act over there…travel to Peru and volunteer in a village…do EVERYTHING.

As a result of my midday conversation with said colleague, I may not be selling all my belongs, but I have decided to make a blog about travel and food. I would like to take submissions from my friends and hosts them on the blog as well as my own adventures.

It’s currently just a work in progress, but I’m already working on my first posts when I launch. After a slight ski fail in Colorado, I packed up and visited my friend DeShun in Las Vegas where we went….*gasp* skiing! I know, some of you are saying, “what? how?” And I will answer that when I launch the new blog that will be independent of this one.

The hurdle and struggle for me will be keeping up with both blogs. I haven’t written in my blog since December. Hopefully, I won’t fall into the business as usual model I’ve been practicing since I started blogging. I haven’t mastered the art of consistency for my personal blog, but maybe this new venture I’m starting will be the catalyst that reels me in. 

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Wanderlust Now, Wanderlust Forever

"Not all those who wander are lost."

-J.R.R. Tolkein, The Fellowship of the Ring

On Christmas morning, I woke up to an instagram notification on my phone from Raven, one of my awesome friends. She had tagged me on a Travel Noire picture. Although I missed out on the awesome travel deal for a plane ticket to Abu Dhabi, this was the beginning of a spark. It’s no secret that I have a love affair with travel. And although I feel like I neglect my inner nomad, I am determined to make 2015 a year of travel and it beginnings with a ski trip in Colorado January 1^st.

In the meantime, I have signed up for so many travel hack sites and newsletters, I’m bound to get to India sooner rather than later. Part of missing out on the Abu Dhabi deal was because I’m some what of a chicken when it comes to the idea of solo travel. That’s okay, I’m going to fix that real quick like! I had initially planned on St. Louis, but I’ve nixed that idea and now I’m full speed ahead to Boston! Yes, I’m pretty spastic and random at times…a lot of times. This is no different. I had an idea of a place, I changed my mind…go with it! Heck, I may end up somewhere else besides Boston. As long as I do it solo and get over the mountain of fear, that’s what matters.

There may be a NYC trip in between skiing and Boston. You never really know with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see google flights browsing in my 2015 future. God willing, I will have the most amazing year of my life in 2015, complete with ups and downs I’m sure.

The sky looks limitless and the possibilities endless.  

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